Starting Again
About two months ago, I made the bold decision to step away from my social media accounts and embark on a new journey—or, perhaps, restart an old one. Back in 2017, I was just two months into college when I decided it wasn't for me. I remember walking into the admin office, dropping out, and declaring my dream of becoming an artist. But reality hit as soon as I got home. Suddenly, I was faced with adult responsibilities—I needed a job and a plan.
Before I knew it, I had become a licensed manicurist. I completed an associate's degree in visual communications at community college and began working for a beauty company, where I produced content for their social media and website. Soon, my platforms started to gain traction, especially for my hair content. It felt like a dream come true, especially since I had been making YouTube videos in my room since 2013. However, over time, I began to feel a sense of restlessness.
Fast forward to 2021: I began sharing my feelings with loved ones about wanting to make changes or try something new. Many questioned why I would consider disrupting what seemed like a good situation. I felt like there was more to explore—something beyond my current confines. Eventually, I threw myself into my press-on nail business, discovering the joy of creating tiny art that people could wear. It was thrilling to turn my ideas into fashionable expressions!
A pivotal moment came at the end of 2021 during a pop-up event, where I unleashed my creativity. In just two weeks, I crafted around 50 nail sets and kits, whipped up customized denim, and designed an eye-catching booth. The turnout was incredible, and it marked a peak in my creative journey. I realized I wanted more of that energy in my life.
The following year, 2022, my nail business led me to a studio, and during this transformative year, I traveled to Guam, got engaged, got married, and made Guam my home. The studio was my launchpad into the artistic world I'd always envisioned! I began creating art and even talked about it on my podcast. Finally, I was on the path I had dreamed of back in 2017.
The year wasn’t without its challenges. I faced doubts and returned to what I knew best—creating beauty content. But it felt unfulfilling, a shadow of what it once was. While 2023 brought me back into the brand deal space, I found myself longing for something different. I had a clear vision of my creative future, almost within reach, and yet I didn't know how to make it a reality. It marked the beginning of an uninspired chapter, where everything I created felt lackluster.
Soon after in 2024, I discovered we were expecting our first child, which gave me plenty of time to reflect. I found myself confronting my true thoughts and evaluating the way forward. Leaving behind my comfort zone would be daunting, but I ultimately chose to trust God, take the leap of faith, and embrace my identity as an artist. Life undoubtedly alters our plans, but I’m learning to embrace rest when I’m tired instead of quitting. Everything I’ve experienced since 2017—years of lessons and inspiration—shapes who I am today.
After having my babygirl, I returned to work in the new year, hoping to relive my glory days, but things felt different. Not only had my lifestyle changed while navigating motherhood, but my mindset had shifted too. I had been fighting against the urge to pivot for far too long—wanting to, but holding back due to fear. My attempts to return to the past showed me how much I had grown.
I decided to finally take a step back from my old routines. I took action by deleting some extra accounts and creating new ones, wrestling with whether to pivot my main accounts or start fresh. I ultimately chose to embrace the new beginning, believing it would free me from the mental blocks I had surrounding social media and my creative path. Letting go was essential if I wanted to move forward.
I’m not certain where this new journey will lead me, but for the first time in a while, I feel an exhilarating sense of anticipation. I’m letting go of the need to plan every detail or worry about the outcome—I’m taking it one step at a time. One of my first steps? I decided to start working on a body of work and dive into ‘The Artist's Way’ by Julia Cameron; it felt like the perfect moment to rediscover my creativity. The future is uncertain, but I’m ready to embrace it with open arms!